Nothing Sacred (1937)

Now I'm a fan of Carole Lombard. She's very funny. All the information that came along with this movie described it as a "screwball comedy," and it very much is, despite the fact that when we first meet Carole Lombard's character, Hazel Flagg, we think she is dying of radium poisoning.

Frederic March plays Wally Cook, a somewhat disgraced newspaper man who goes off to to redeem himself by finding the next big story... the story turns out to be bringing the ailing Hazel to New York City to show her the time of her life before she dies. New York loves Hazel...too bad she's not really sick.

We find out that Hazel isn't really sick pretty early on in the movie. When Wally comes to find her in her small Vermont hometown, Hazel has just learned from her doctor that he made a mistake with her diagnosis. Rather than being overjoyed at not being on her death bed, Hazel is disappointed to have to give up a trip to New York that she had been promised as a last wish. Then comes Wally offering her an amazing chance to be pampered in the city...

The Vermont scenes were a lot of fun. The townspeople do not appreciate a city newspaper man invading their space. He gets a lot of nasty looks, including a nasty look from the actress who played the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. At one point, while Wally is walking down the street trying to find Hazel, a little boy runs out of his yard, bites Wally on the leg, and runs away again. Biting townspeople?

Just as much hilarity occurs in New York... of course Hazel and Wally fall for each other, and this leads Hazel to feel really guilty about pretending to be dying. So guilty she even tries to fake a suicide so she can remove herself from the situation. The only part of the "screwball comedy" I wasn't so fond of was the punching that went on between Wally and Hazel when Wally found out about the hoax. Don't punch people! Or spank people! "Give me your word of honor you won't try that again, or I'll spank your little..."
Two stars, but I would definitely see this again. Really, it was a very entertaining movie.

Roberta (1935)

Irene Dunne, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers... of course I had to see this movie. Huck Haines (Astaire) travels with his band, The Wabash Indianians, and his friend John Kent (Randolph Scott) to Paris for a gig. Unfortunately, almost the second they step off the ocean liner, the owner of the club where they were supposed to play becomes horrified to learn that they are in fact Indianians and not Indians. The band tries to woo the club owner with a bizarre act in which they become a human piano...but to no avail.

With no more gig, John and Huck rush off to find John's aunt Roberta, who just happens to own a fashionable clothing store in Paris. Roberta is delighted to see her favorite nephew and says that she will try to help them find a new gig through her connections. It turns out that the band doesn't need Roberta's direct help, though, because out in the lobby they find the Comtesse Scharwenka (Ginger Rogers) complaining loudly and obnoxiously about a dress that has not come out quite right. The Comtesse is merely pretending to be Polish nobility to make her singing act more intriguing. Really she is from Indiana and happens to be the long lost close friend/next door neighbor of Huck. And she can get the band back into the very night club from which they were tossed for not being Indians. And I haven't even mentioned that Irene Dunne plays Stephanie, who works for Roberta. Stephanie and John fall in love at first sight, complications to follow. One of the largest complications seems to be that John is a "hick" with an attitude about fashion, and Stephanie is a Russian princess in exile. Hmmm.

The dancing was, as usual, exciting, especially a very cool tap dance pictured above and a dance to "I Won't Dance." And then there was the highly entertaining fashion show. My favorite quote from the fashion show is actually from my roommate Barbara: "Oh, a bird died." There were a lot of fur and feathers.

Other good fashion quotes from without the movie include:

"It's more stimulating to the imagination if clothes clothe." (John is VERY against skimpy dresses, and this fact leads to some of the plot twists of the movie.)

"[Women] can pack their own junk." (about a dress with pockets)

The movie also swung towards schmaltzy, though. Stephanie sings mournful songs, Roberta dies, everyone is tragically misunderstood. All except Huck and the Comtesse, that is. Two stars for my favorite dancers. Not sure I could watch again.

The Women (1939)

Four Stars. Will watch again forever!



Norma Shearer plays a wealthy New York woman who learns that her husband is cheating on her from a gossipy manicurist. Her gossip-loving friend Syliva is played by Rosalind Russell who also stars in "His Girl Friday".

There are so many things to love about this movie. Starting with the opening credits where each character is introduced as an animal first, and then converted to a woman:
Norma Shearer as the Doe ~ Mrs. Stephen Haines (Mary)
Joan Crawford as the Leopard ~ Crystal Allen
Rosalind Russell as the Cat ~ Mrs. Howard Fowler (Sylvia)
Mary Boland as the Monkey ~ The Countess DeLave (Flora)
Paulette Goddard as the Fox ~ Miriam Aarons
Joan Fontaine as the Lamb ~ Mrs. John Day (Peggy)
Lucile Watson as the Owl ~ Mrs. Morehead
Phyllis Povah as the Cow ~ Mrs. Phelps Potter (Edith)
Virginia Weidler as the Fawn ~ Little Mary
Marjorie Main as the Horse ~ Lucy

Virginia Weidler is Dinah in the Philadelphia Story making her the strange precocious young girl in two of my favorite movies.

The movie is also deliciously self-conscious. "I know plenty I wouldn't breathe about my friends' husbands," says one woman, "oh, so do I!" responds another - they both stop talking for a moment and the thought is so clear it doesn't need to be said - what might my friends know about me? A minute later the subject of the juicy gossip, Mary, leaves the room singing "please don't talk about me when I'm gone..." fat chance, Mary.

The funny thing about the movie is it celebrates the epitome of cattiness without letting it triumph in the end...although sexism and classism come out on top. The rich and virtuous triumph over the poor and slutty and the men are proven to be the victims and the women the instigators of all the evils of divorce and adultery. The [Evils of] Women could be the unofficial title of this film.

One of the central morals of the story is that the woman whose husband is cheating on her should stick loyally by his side and say nothing. A man is a man and adultery is just what comes with the territory. She should wait for him to come to his senses (it's okay to wait in Bermuda, for example) - but she most certainly shouldn't let her girlfriends talk her into divorcing him.

"Don't confide in your friends. They'll see to it in the name of friendship that you lose your husband and your home."

So instead the woman in question decides to fight the "other woman" (OW) - not the cheating man. This is in direct contradiction to what Oprah tells us to do! Eventually she caves to the advice of the crowd and finds herself divorced and - naturally - miserable. What's a woman without her man?

There are echoes of The Awful Truth, here - you can leave your spouse, but you will eventually regret it!

Not surprisingly, in the movie we learn conclusively that the man in question is hapless and a little helpless and was lured into the arms of a cunning and conniving woman a "terrible man trap". It's hard not to get enraged while at the same time being amused watching Joan Crawford curl an imaginary man on the telephone around her little finger.

Of course, in real life, ninety-nine times out of a hundred "the other woman" is the hapless-helpless one and the man is cunning and conniving. Or the OW is hapless and desperate and the man is helpless and lying. Or all three parties are hapless, desperate and miserable. Watch Jerry Springer if you need a case in point.

However you slice it, I wouldn't say this movie contains a lesson to be absorbed too deeply. What it can teach you is how to converse with queens. Try these lines for instant success at gay tupperware parties:
About red nails: "Jungle red - looks as if you've been tearing at somebody's throat."
About bread: "Go ahead, dear no starch it's gluten."
About hand towels: "Cheap chinese embroidery - I bet Peggy gave these to her."
About the man trap: "She's got those eyes that run up and down a man like a searchlight."
About adulterous husbands: "Say nothing, and don't forget that's my handkerchief."
About children: "I'm all the baby he wants, toots!"

You'll want to keep your remote handy for this one - and if you don't have Tivo, rent it - there is no possible way a human being could catch all the catty one-liners without rewind or instant replay. And if you love catty one-liners as much as we women do, you will love this movie.