Nancy Drew: Detective / Nancy Drew: Reporter (1938)

Gee, Gosh, was Nancy Drew really this ditzy? Not in the books. In fact, my friend Yvonne, who remembers the books quite well, was especially upset while watching Bonita Granville's pouty, ditzy performance.

In Nancy Drew: Detective, Nancy tries to find a missing rich lady who has disappeared right before donating a large sum of money to Nancy's prep school for girls. The search involves following a carrier pigeon by car, taking aerial photographs to find the kidnappers' house, and watching her friend turn an old x-ray machine into a radio transmitter to call for help. In Nancy Drew: Reporter, Nancy is disappointed in her assignment for a contest at the local paper and steals a real reporter's assignment. She finds herself trying to investigate a murder in order to clear the name of a framed woman. Nancy solves all of these crimes with the help of her reluctant "friend" Ted Nickerson (why the movie people changed his name from Ned is beyond me). She bosses him around, gets him in trouble, makes him dress up as a lady... he whines a lot and stumbles clumsily over things.

The world according to Nancy Drew:
"I think every intelligent woman should have a career."
"That conceited tweet-tweet!"
"Quit disturbing the molecules!"
"You hooligans!"
"I guess it's just my woman's intuition. Every woman has one, you know."
"Well statistics prove from ages 15-20 a woman is mentally 5 years older than a man of the same age."
"Guess my woman's intuition didn't function this time."

But, however ditzy she appeared to be in these movies, Nancy did get the job done. Two stars, and I really don't feel like checking out the rest of the series. My curiosity has been satisfied.

Bye Bye Birdie (1963)

Singing star (a la Elvis) Conrad Birdie is going to be drafted! Oh no! But that is not what the teenagers below are discussing in their wonderful "dancing while talking on the phone and clogging up all of the town's phone lines" number... No, just as worthy of hours of phone calls is the fact that Hugo and Kim (Ann-Margret) just got pinned!

"Did he pin the pin on? Or was he too shy?"

Adding more drama to the mix, struggling songwriter Albert (Dick Van Dyke)'s his soon-to-be-fiance Rosie (Janet Leigh) comes up with a brilliant and manipulative scheme to help Albert sell a song. Before Conrad ships off to the army, he will appear on the Ed Sullivan show to sing one last song, "One Last Kiss," and to kiss one last girl goodbye. And which lucky fan club member gets picked to receive the kiss? Kim, of course. Will Hugo like it? Will they remain pinned? Will Conrad and his hip-swinging, faint-inducing antics tear the town apart?

One of my favorite scenes is one in which Conrad sings at the town hall in Kim's town and causes almost everyone in the town to faint by the end of the song. While I don't have a picture of that scence, I do have a picture of my favorite outfit of Kim's. She wore this for a dance number that we may just need to do at my wedding. Or am I being sarcastic?

Four stars for joy inducing songs, animals and people being drugged with speed, crazy outfits, Dick Van Dyke dancing, and a movie that knows it is being over the top. The purpose behind this viewing was that David was Harvey Johnson ("Can I speak to Debra Sue...") in a high school production, and I was hoping to get him to sing along. I will of course see it again and again and again.

The Wedding Present (1936)

So, Richard Wallace creates a film in which Cary Grant and Joan Bennett are witty newspaper reporters in love who just can't seem to end up together. Then four years later Howard Hawks makes a film in which Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell are two witty, divorced-from-each-other newspaper reporters who just can't seem to end up back together. Hmmm. Very popular theme of the time?

In this one, Charlie (Cary Grant) and Rusty (Joan Bennett) work on the paper together and are "almost married." After a botched attempt to get a marriage license, Rusty declares that it was silly of them to try, and they should just stay in their happy "almost married" state. Not even a night spent carousing with a silly archduke, about whom they want to write a story, can convince Rusty that really they should just break down and try to get married again. Not even when the archduke tells them, "Oh, but [marriage] is a divine madness."

So on they go with their lives as flirting reporters until Rusty is granted a month's vacation. While she is in New York trying to make Charlie jealous, Charlie gets a surprise promotion to editor. Rusty returns to find him no longer his old fun-loving self. She thinks up a giant prank to help him get his sense of humor back, but ends up getting herself fired.

Rusty meets a new man on her way to New York to find a new job and soon finds herself engaged. What will Charlie do? Why, travel to New York to give her the best wedding present ever (involving fire trucks, ambulances, police sirens...).

No, the wedding movies are not my new theme (did you notice I watched Night of the Living Dead?), but maybe I can gleam some tips from all of these wedding-related movies... In any case, I would see this again (and probably will since David got me a box set that contains it). Probably just two stars from me, though: Fun and silly, but also dopey and silly if I'm thinking seriously about it, and it's definitely not as brilliant as its witty newspaper movie rival.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Classic horror...this fits here, right?

The music is horror movie music...
There are zombies...
There is a little girl zombie who eats her mother, blood dripping from her mouth...
There is a sad ending that may in fact be a social commentary...
and I was a little bored. In fact, had I not been simultaneously putting photos in my photo album, I might not have been able to watch the whole movie. It is definitely a movie to watch with someone, so you can say things like:
"I bet he'll slap the silly hysterical woman."
or "Did he really just say, 'Don't you know what's going on out there...this is no Sunday school picnic'?"
or "Are zombies really so scary when they move so slowly?"
or "Why bother to make the silly hysterical woman afraid of matches if they're not foreshadowing her turning into a zombie?"
or "Zombies, just get on with it! Storm the house already!"

Lesson learned: Without the Bennett sisters, the world is lost in the face of the living dead.

Father of the Bride (1950)

Poor Stanley (Spencer Tracy) has to deal not only with the fact that his daughter is getting married...and he doesn't even know the financial stability or sense of the groom... but also with the fact that the wedding is going to be a humongous, expensive affair.

The conflicts the characters had were just so silly. The wedding was almost called off when the groom had an idea that the bride didn't like for a honeymoon destination. Also, if the family couldn't afford it and the bride, Kay (Elizabeth Taylor), really wanted a small wedding as she claimed, why did the family pay movers to have all of the furniture removed from their home so that they could host almost 500 people at the reception? And why was Kay wearing this dress?

Weddings don't always have to make people crazy, right?
Two stars. I'm not sorry I watched it, but I probably won't watch it again.

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

David chose this movie for us to watch one night...I waited too long to blog it...
Jessica: Why did you choose this movie?
David: You wanted something you'd never seen before. And you wanted a classic movie.
J: What do you like about it?
D: I don't know. I guess I have good memories of it. I probably watched it for the first time when I was eleven or so. We'd go to Hastings... that was when I started to really like Hitchcock... I like the suspense.
J: What should people know about the plot?
D: Well, I don't want to give it away...
J: A little sound-bite.
D: I don't want to give it away... Family man Jimmy Stewart finds himself in the middle of intrigue along with his lovely wife Doris Day. It would give stuff away if I said anything else. Except I'll say this. There's a scene that can only be explained by the fact that Hitchcock wanted to have a scene in a taxidermist's.
J: Thanks.
D: No, thank you. This interview has been lovely.

Four stars, and I would watch it again. I also want to re-watch Hitchcock's 1934 version, because I saw it too long ago to remember just exactly how different it was...I assume no "Que sera sera..."

Paper Moon (1973)

We watched this at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary on Saturday. The surprise guest was Tatum O'Neal. I was really very cool of her to come out, and we mean her no disrespect, but we have to remain honest as reviewers, even though we know Tatum may read this...



Don't look so shocked, Tatum!

Me: What do you want to say about Paper Moon?
Jess: Oh my gosh. Well...
Me: Was it as boring as I made you think it was?
Jess: No it wasn't as boring, I did wonder how long it was going to be sometimes, but it wasn't as boring. I guess there was a lot more comedy than I was imagining.
Me: What did you think of Tatum O'Neal?
Jess: She was good at glowering. The real Tatum O'Neal was there.
Me: Did that add to your experience?
Jess: No.
David: Except that when we were clapping at the end, you felt that there was really someone there to clap for.
Jess: Yeah, I had probably forgotten about her by then. The problem is, I don't really know who she is.
Me: Did it pull at your heartstrings?
Jess: Excuse me? No, was it supposed to? It didn't really pull at my heartstrings because it all seemed so over the top. I wasn't really concerned about the little motherless girl.
Me: What about you, David?
D: I'm not really part of the blog.
J: You can comment. Did it pull at your heartstrings?
D: No, there was no pulling. I laughed.
J: I definitely laughed, that was the thing, I wasn't really concerned, it was just what silly things will they do next.
Me: Were there any parts that you thought were particularly funny?
J: I thought it was kind of funny when she was sitting up on the hill and the dancer-lady had to go and talk to her and they came to an understanding.
Me: I'm giving it two stars.
J: That's fine with me, I thought it was funny but I didn't love it.

Two stars, will not watch again.
Sorry, Tatum.



Awww, don't look so sad! You've still got the Oscar.
*******************************************************************************************************************************
J: For the record, I did not dislike this movie as much as Amy's posting makes it sound that I do. I found it really entertaining and funny. I was tired, and didn't know that my responses to the questions that were being fired at me were being typed up into a posting. That being said, I would see this movie again.

Please Believe Me (1950)

Deborah Kerr, Deborah Kerr, why are you so lovely? And why are you always embarking on steamship journeys when we meet you? Oh, I know - it's because that's where you meet the charming, debonair men who break your heart!

So you're on a cruise ship, bound for America where you will collect your inheritance of a Texas ranch which, unbeknownst to you, is completely worthless.



Having heard reports of her new-found wealth, three lovesick men find her loveliness irresistible in this movie: a gambler who needs to pay off his debts to a scary gangster, a wealthy playboy who could care less about her wealth, and the lawyer of the playboy, who makes love to her in the most awkward, over-blown, over-planned, clinical way imaginable.

Fortunately, Kerr's Character, Alison Kirby, is clever enough to decipher American slang, see through some of the most obvious angles her suitors are playing, and survive the somewhat confusing plot unscathed.

She's charming, her costumes are charming, and she's one of the most intelligent heroines I've seen in a classic movie. I mean plenty of women are witty in old movies - but how many are the authors of their own plot twists?

For that reason if for no other, three stars. I could give this four if the leading man had been a little bit charming, but he was a dork. Endearing, but I do love a dashing hero for my sassy heroine!

Probably won't watch again.

The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

Tivo's description of this movie says "Action Adventure (1952) Betty Hutton, Charlton Heston, Cornel Wilde, Dorothy Lamour. A high-wire artist, the girlfriend of a circus manager, falls for a French aerialist." How it failed to mention Jimmy Stewart as a bad clown named Buttons who just happens to have learned enough about medicine in the Navy to save the circus manager's life at a key moment in the film is beyond me!
Let me repeat this slowly:
Jimmy Stewart.
In clown costume for the entire movie.
Playing Buttons the bad clown.
Who is secretly a surgeon.

There you have it, the reason to watch the movie, right there, nothing more required...but there is quite a lot more that is offered.

Oh what else? It's a musical. It's a big schmaltzy expensive costume musical with live animals and costumes that would shame Las Vegas showgirls. And this is what TCM describes as "Action Adventure"? (I happen to know that the program information on Tivo is usually supplied by the network....)



Okay, okay, all the music is diegetic, they sing as part of the circus, sing to cheer themselves up or to advertise the show - no-one sings a story or a monologue or a line that could have been spoken - but still - a coordinated number with dancing girls swinging from pineapple-bedecked ropes is quite, quite good.

By the way, that number would be, according to the ringmaster: 'The luscious Phyllis dances and sings to the sultry strains of Lovely Luawana Lady!" (Dorothy Lamour plays Phyllis)

Because Hawaii was only recently made a state we had to humiliate it, right? Like some kind of national hazing ritual?

On the more modern tip, the lyric "they don't pack that wicky whack" could easily be sampled for a hip-hop track - Diddy is probably all over it already.

WHAT is not to love about a circus movie? It allows people to say lines like
"You've got sawdust in your veins" and
"The only thing about you I'm interested in is your elephants" and
"When I kiss you, I need to have my feet planted firmly on the ground"
and while we're quoting favorite lines:
"I've never run from a fight" "and I've never lost one"
"What does a girl have to say to make a blind man see"
"Be careful of that halo, sister, it's phony, it'll slip and you'll be wearing it around your neck"
"Don't believe everything you hear, it's only half of what you see."
"Is that a professional opinion?" "That's a clown's opinion!"

The plot is thick - there's a rival circus named the Columbia, a crooked carnival games mobster, a jealous showgirl rival of the "high=wire artist" (who also does trapeze, by the way, so I'm not sure why she's a "high-wire artist" in the description). There is a german elephant-trainer who is in love with the showgirl rival, there is the crazy french aerialist who is completely obnoxious and deserves to fall and break his stupid arm.

Then of course there is a clown with a dark secret and a cute little dog (possibly named Squeaker?).

The aerialist tries a trick without a net to show off for the high-wire artist and ends up falling. The high-wire artist falls in love with his derring-do and leaves the poor hard-working sullen Charlton Heston - I've never liked him in anything but the aerialist is so arrogant and obnoxious it really makes it easy to love him. After this the movie goes on for another hour - the plot twists and twists again - the rival goes for the dumped circus manager, the high-wire artists chases the aerialist, a detective comes looking for the clown - and on and on...ending with a train crash in which a leopard escapes making me decide that this movie is the other side of the "Bringing Up Baby" story - remember the escaped leopard? It's dangerous? It escapes from a train that is crashed? This could be that leopard! I choose to see it that way.

They must have shot a lot of the crowd scenes in a hangar on the lot because the crowd has some stars in it (I spotted Bob Hope at one point) and I'm sure some executives if I knew who to look for. They must've hired some circus people to do the acts and filmed those, but they also used a LOT of green screen. A LOT. It's pretty entertaining to speculate on why - I mean the effects shots are obvious - but in one scene there are just a bunch of people packing stuff up in the background - they couldn't shoot that? Or they just forgot and had to pick it up as an insert shot?

Once in a great while a movie comes along that is so bad it becomes good again - one might even call it a Great Bad Movie. This is might just be the Greatest Bad Movie on Earth...maybe.
Three stars, would positively watch again. Probably going to do so right now.

Some Like It Hot (1959)

I love this movie. I tried to watch it outside at the Boston Harbor Hotel last summer, and a thunderstorm half an hour into the movie foiled my attempt. Now a year later, I have finally seen it again. Four stars... plan to see it many more times. Why do I love it? Because it is fifty years old, and yet the comedy is still hilarious... Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis are perfect... It is immensely quotable... It's just so funny.

Joe (Curtis) and Jerry (Lemmon) have to flee town when they accidentally witness a mob mass killing. Best way to skip town? Dress up like women, of course, and join a women's band on its way to Florida.

Hilarity ensues as both men take turns falling for their band mate Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe), who confides to Joe's alter ego Josephine that she is hoping to meet a dashing millionaire in Florida. Even more hilarity as a millionaire man falls for Jerry's alter ego Daphne.

And the wonderful ending. If for some reason you have never seen the ending or had it quoted to you and you just love surprises, don't watch.