Thank Your Lucky Stars (1943)

Browsing in the library and picking up an un-heard of movie... is it a good idea? Not really.

This movie has a lot of big names... most of them play themselves. Despite the fact that the synopsis on the box claimed there was a plot, it took a good 20 minutes before I believed there was one, because I just kept hearing the stars' names in the movie. And nothing was happening. Eddie Cantor (himself) hosts a radio variety show. Edward Everett Horton (not himself) and friend hear Dinah Shore (herself) sing on the show and decide that they must have her for their upcoming star-studded production. Sadly for them, Dinah comes along with allowing Cantor to be on the board, and Cantor has really annoying ideas.

Most of the plot comes from a wanna-be singer who ends up with a contract to sing on Cantor's show, without Cantor's permission. Excited wanna-be singer meets an annoying wanna-be songwriter woman, and the two of them, along with a "homes of the stars" tour guide, stalk Cantor as he throws them out of his sets multiple times. The tour guide, by the way, is played by Eddie Cantor. Much of this might have been at least a little funnier had the name Eddie Cantor meant anything to me before this movie. There is some hilarity (insane asylum, elephant...), but mostly there is just a really boring movie with some awful dialogue and musical acts.

Low points: Bette Davis's (as herself) number in the musical production and Olivia deHavilland's (as herself) number

High point: Errol Flynn's (as himself) musical number... "Oh that voice is so divine... I'm sorry it isn't mine"

Was this movie fun for the people in it? Was it entertaining when it came out? One star, and I really don't want to see this again.

The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939)

Bette Davis:
and Bette Davis as Queen Elizabeth:
No, she was not ancient and at the end of her career when she filmed this movie. She is just wearing scary make-up so that we can tell that her character is much much older than Lord Essex, her not-so-secret lover, with whom she battles throughout the movie. Unfortunately, I found Bette Davis's make-up to be so distracting that I spent a lot of the movie pondering what the real Elizabeth looked like and speaking to the television to tell Elizabeth things like, "Sweetheart, if you just did your make-up like Olivia deHavilland, you wouldn't have to worry about Essex thinking you're old."

One of the DVD features taught me that Bette Davis and Errol Flynn did NOT get along during the filming of this movie. That made perfect sense to me, since my next most frequent comments, after those having to do with the make-up, had to do with the lack of chemistry between Elizabeth and Essex (Flynn), who are supposed to be madly in love. Of course the DVD feature then went on to say that they had great chemistry on screen. I don't agree, and the lack of chemistry made it really hard for me to enjoy this movie, despite loving the actors and having been really excited to see it. Alas.


This movie did spawn an exciting series of Wikipedia searches. Having read The Other Boleyn Girl earlier this year, I wanted to know exactly where all of the action in the movie fit in with the "history" I knew from the book. Much more interesting than remembering exactly how many monarchs came between Anne Boleyn and Elizabeth, however, was learning that there was an Ethelwulf, an Ethelbald, and even an... Ethelred the Unready, my personal favorite. One could really get lost in Wikipedia. Look here for the fascinating list of English monarchs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English_monarchs

One star for Bette Davis, because she is just a great actress, no matter the role. One more star for Olivia deHavilland. And an honorable mention for the amazingly creative and bizarre mechanical staircase leading into Elizabeth's throne room in the tower, through which Essex is led for his last meeting with Elizabeth before his execution. Barbara says, "I don't remember that from the tour." I really don't think I could watch this movie again.

Captain Blood (1935)

Two stars, and I might never be able to see it again. I'm glad I saw it, though! Despite the fact that it took an hour and five minutes to get to any of the piracy, I have been wanting to see an old pirate movie, and this was definitely an old pirate movie. And really, Errol Flynn is very good at delivering lines.

Here is a semblance of the plot, told in superlatives:

Best Term of Endearment: "My vinegary virgin..." E. Flynn to his landlady(?) at the beginning of the movie before he sees his last patient as a free man

Best Wig: The judge with the Captain Hook wig who tries Flynn as a traitor for having treated a rebel

Best Natural Hair: Errol Flynn after having been locked up for three months waiting for his treason trial (at which he gives a rousing speech)

Best Rudy Giuliani Impersonator: the judge with the C. Hook wig... Maybe it's the pissy looks he's giving Flynn, but really, it's Giuliani!

Strangest Meet Cute: when Olivia deHavilland buys Flynn at the auction block (he has been sent as a slave to Port Royal rather than killed as a traitor)... Flynn is not at all pleased and gives more rousing speeches about dignity and freedom.


Best Cackle: O. deHavilland when she thinks about how mad Flynn will be when she gives him more assistance... see next superlative

Best Patient: "Why don't you bleed me again!" E. Flynn gets to become the governor of Port Royal's personal doctor, because he is so good at treating gout. And the governor is just so cheerful about the help he receives.

Best Aside: "This is what I call a timely interference...though what will come of it the devil himself only knows." Flynn in the stockade... he has been locked up on the night of his planned escape from the island. Luckily for him, Spanish pirates attack, he gets free, and he and his slave friends get to steal the Spanish pirate ship.

Best Monty Python Moment: Flynn and his buddies jump some Spanish pirates.

Best Caption: "And thus Captain Blood began his career of piracy with a ship, a handful of men, and a brain..." enough said

Best Muttering: "Blood...Blood..." Flynn is just such a great pirate that he pisses off the King of England.

Best Accent: Basil Rathbone has a lovely French accent as the French pirate who forms an alliance with Flynn

Prettiest Smiles: Flynn and Rathbone duel after Rathbone has captured deHavilland and plans to keep her... They seem so happy to get to use their swords.

Most Dramatic Death: Rathbone... The ocean water washes over him, he tries not to blink his eyes...

Best Bible Quote: "Love thy neighbor as thyself, Davidicus..." One of the pirates just loves to quote the Bible. I believe this was during a battle on board the ship.

Best Pining Look: Flynn and deHavilland just can't quite get together. She's rich and snooty! And she once bought him! And he's a pirate who has probably done some awful things!


I'll stop here.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Spoiler Alert! No one swings on a chandelier in this movie, no matter what you think you remember.

Don't worry, though. There is plenty of this:

And Robin Hood does manage to skillfully knock out two guards with this deer:


Ah, Robin Hood. A real swashbuckler, and played so well by Errol Flynn. Errol Flynn is just so good at being sarcastic and witty.

Marian: "Why, you speak treason!"
Robin Hood: "Fluently."



So, classic story.. and despite the fact that you can find Monty Python moments all throughout a movie that is maybe not supposed to be taken in quite that way, Robin Hood is definitely deserving of four stars. Once I start missing Robin Hood's quips and Will Scarlet's hat, I know I will see this again.

Final warning: If you wish to remain charmed by Errol Flynn's acting, do NOT read up on his personal life.