I'm No Angel (1933)

Well that was confusing... It is definitely a one star movie, but I just clapped at the ending. And not because it was over, but because I was laughing hysterically.

This movie raised a lot of questions for me:

Why was it not a bigger deal that when Tira (Mae West) was caught entertaining a rich man, her jealous co-worker showed up, hit the guy over the head, and the two of them left the man for dead in the hallway? It seems this was just a minor little mishap that created a need for Tira to make some more money.

"I think he's croaked."

"Where am I gonna put a stiff in this joint?"

"Put him out in the hall."

What did Tira's fortune teller think of her plan to make more money in the circus (she's in the circus!) by sticking her head in the lion's mouth during her lion act? She carries around an astrology booklet and seems to read it every morning, yet the new act seemed pretty impulsive.

"I'll even stick my head in the big cat's mouth!"

"Say, if them lions don't show some sense, I'm goin' down there and bite her myself."

Was Mae West really sticking her head in a lion's mouth? It sure looked like it. Where did the movie studio get all of those lions? And why can't I find a picture of them?

Why does Mae West include "Mmm-mm" at the end of almost everything she says? Character or actress? I suppose it goes well with phrases such as:

"When I was born with this face, it was the same as striking oil."

"Crazy for me, the guy's a pushover for me."

"I'll tell you this much. You're gonna like what I have in mind."

It also does go quite well with spritzing perfume all over one's self while singing, "No One Loves Me Like That Dallas Man..."

When on earth did Jack Clayton (Cary Grant) fall in love with Tira, and how did I miss it?

Jack arrived 49 minutes into the movie, and then 1 minute later they were talking marriage. The entirely unbelievable romance makes it impossible for me to give this movie more than one star, no matter how many ridiculous scenes made me laugh. The unbelievable romance and the cringe-inducing scenes with her black maids, that is.

Very important question: If David had been watching the final court scenes of the movie, in which Mae West saunters around the court room "Mmm-mm-ing" and cross-examining witnesses, would it have been more useful than the studying he was doing on his own for the bar?

And why did I not wear a crown at my wedding?

I will only see this movie again if Amy watches it with me. I'm not sure I would laugh as much seeing it a second time alone. Story and screenplay by Mae West.

Wizard of Oz (1939)

Of course I've seen the Wizard of Oz before - who hasn't? When we were kids they would broadcast it once a year and my mother would make me take a nap so that I could stay up to watch it. And just as obviously, it gets four stars. Duh.


Let's quickly run through why it rocks: musical, pioneering special effects, black-and-white turns to color gimmick (never fails to amuse me), costumes, costumes, costumes - just the munchkin costumes ALONE are worth watching the whole movie - small dog, camp factor of 10 to the tenth power, and the genuinely beautiful song, Somewhere Over the Rainbow - which incidentally is very easy to play on the piano, but very hard to sing. Oh, and the Wicked Witch - she is AWESOME and STILL scary. In fact, the actress who played her was reluctant to reprise the role because she felt it was too scary. Also it has a chant - Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY! That you will find yourself using now and then, it's very effective. Much better than whistling,I've found, when you're walking through the woods on a dark night.



But now that I've also been enlightened by Angela Lansbury in the Wizard of Oz documentary I also know the following fun facts:

1. There were a total of three - or was it four? - directors who worked on it, including one of my favorites, George Cukor, who was responsible for several key changes to Dorothy's appearance also Victor Fleming, King Vidor, and Richard Thorpe. Yes, four.


2. Shirley Temple was considered for the part of Dorothy. It's easy to see how that would have been disgustingly cute...makes you appreciate the pathos that Judy Garland brings to the movie. It's almost as though she foresaw her own tragic death from an early age while Shirley Temple knew early on that she was going to wind up as a diplomat outliving everyone she ever starred with.


3. The original Tin Man was poisoned by his aluminum dust make-up and had to give up his role. The WORST part of this is that he had been forced to trade roles with the scarecrow. That scarecrow was damn lucky.

4. Margaret Hamilton, who played the Wicked Witch, was a single mother. I liked that a lot, makes her seem determined and somewhat victorious, in a way - she was going to be a character actor, and she created the ultimate character. Also, she caught on fire while filming!


It seems like a giant undertaking that must have been hell to work on. Also MGM was determined to outsell Disney's Snow White. I can just imagine the lecture they gave the munchkins about beating the dwarves at their own cute game.

I recommend the documentary (The Wonderful World of Oz: 50 Years of Movie Magic - 1990) because trying to find all the same facts to fact-check it seems like there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Go see it, and then, watch the Wizard of Oz again, I know I will.