Carefree (1938)

Watch this movie for the dancing. No matter the plot (which in this case is obnoxious but full of hilarity), Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire are worth watching. Fred Astaire can dance anywhere and while doing anything...

In Carefree Stephen (Ralph Bellamy) is dumped by his fiance Amanda (Ginger Rogers) and enlists the help of his good psychiatrist friend Tony (Fred Astaire) to convince her that she really does want to get married. Amanda dislikes Tony almost immediately after hearing his tape recorded diagnosis that she is a silly thoughtless female. While she eventually does agree to meet with him for analysis and help, she first spends some hilarious scenes insulting him while wearing great hats.

The fact that there is hypnosis involved in Amanda's treatments should be enough to draw even the non-dance lover to this movie.

Needless to say, much hilarity ensues, and Stephen does not necessarily get the help that he is looking for. Oh Ralph Bellamy.  Were you limited to a career in which you play the dopey guy who is left for a suave hero?  I have seen only three of your movies, so I just don't know.  But Irene Dunne preferred Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell preferred Cary Grant, and now Ginger Rogers prefers Fred Astaire.  To be fair, The Dunne and Russell characters had both been previously married to their Grant character co-stars, and you were a transition back to their marriages.  But Ginger Roger's Amanda treated you so poorly.  Wait... I have just learned (imdb.com) that Ralph Bellamy won a Tony for his 1958 portrayal of FDR.  I feel a little better.

Two stars for golf dancing and hypnosis by dancing. I'm sure I will find other Rogers & Astaire movies to entertain me in the future. And now for more dancing...

Sabrina (1954)

Sabrina (Audrey Hepburn) has spent years pining for David Larabee (William Holden). Her father is the Larabee family's chauffeur, and Sabrina has grown up on the outskirts of the Larabees' expensive lives, watching David from trees as he seduces woman after woman.

Being sent away to Paris for chef school is so horrifying that Sabrina attempts suicide. Luckily she is rescued by Linus Larabee (Humphrey Bogart), David's very serious older brother, and goes off to chef school as planned.

When Sabrina returns from Paris she is finally sophisticated enough to catch the eye of David. But when David's new infatuation with Sabrina threatens an engagement that was designed to benefit the family business, Linus steps in to try to derail their relationship by... spending lots of time with Sabrina and leading her to believe he is falling in love with her.

Does Linus really love her? And does Sabrina love David?

I am giving this three stars, partly just because I was so thrilled not to hate it like I did the remake with Harrison Ford. There are moments when I found myself cringing, terrified that Sabrina would get her heart broken in horrible ways. Because even if things work out all right in the end, there are some ways you just shouldn't manipulate your heroine!

Dangerous When Wet (1953)

Oh, a swimming musical. Why have I not been watching these?

The Higgins family is a family of swimmers. Every single morning Pa, Ma, Junior, Katie (Esther Williams), and Suzie jump up seemingly at the crack of dawn to do some laps in the local swimming hole.  And, it being a musical, they sing a wonderfully cheery song as they get ready to swim.  When Katie is spotted by a somewhat lecherous salesman one morning, the family ends up with the chance to swim in a race across the English Channel in order to promote his product.

Although the rest of the Higgins family deems the English Channel too cold, Katie continues to train.  One day, during a foggy training session she loses sight of her salesman coach in his rowboat and is pulled aboard the sailboat of the charming and dashing Andre (Fernando Lamas - who became Esther Williams's husband).

There are passionate looks, vows to stay away for the sake of the race, and several minor scandals.  On their first date Andre gives Katie a bikini as a gift!  Andre invites Katie over to his house to meet his mother, and his mother isn't there!  And she stays anyways!  And they go swimming together!

The movie even contains a dream sequence in which Katie swims with Tom and Jerry.

I searched and searched for a photo of the great goggles worn in the movie... no photo to be found. Just picture the most wonderful gigantic swim goggles imaginable... and then double their size. Oh how I want those goggles.

And then of course there is Katie's heroic swim.

Three stars. I would love to see this again. And bring on the Esther Williams movies. Are they all so wonderfully silly?

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Klaatu barada nikto.

A movie with a message. Will we Earthlings be able listen to Klaatu's message and change our violent ways so that we can escape destruction and join the galactic community? Ahhh, a movie that is able to deliver its message without showing us the slaughter of millions of people. Four stars. If you have seen the new version with Keanu, know that it is a VERY different movie, and you must go and see the original NOW.

Holiday Inn (1942)

I want to go to Holiday Inn. But only if they promise that they've given up on the blackface acts. Be prepared for a really racist celebration of Lincoln's birthday, featuring the line, "Who was it set the darkie free?" Seriously.

So, I don't want to be at Holiday Inn for Lincoln's birthday. But I do want to ride in a horse drawn carriage instead of a taxi to be there to see Marjorie Reynolds and Fred Astaire dance with each other. Or just to see Fred Astaire do his Fourth of July cherry bomb dance on his own.

When we meet them, Ted (Fred Astaire) and Jim (Bing Crosby) are friends and fellow dancers.  After learning that Bing has wooed away his fiancee, another dancer, Bing goes off to his giant house in the country where he begins to renovate and create Holiday Inn.   He plans to spend most of each year on vacation, opening the inn just for fantastic performances on holidays.  Bing meets Linda (Marjorie Reynolds) at a performance in the city, and she comes out to the inn to audition for him.  They rehearse for performances, fall in love, and sing "White Christmas" together.
Sadly for Jim, Ted shows up drunk, having lost his dancer girlfriend.  Jim is convinced that if Ted meets Linda, he will try to steal her away both for a dancing partner and a girlfriend.  Ted is just this kind of friend.  Ted does meet Linda...he dances with her drunk... but once sober he cannot remember what she looked like.  He spends the next year showing up for holidays to search for his mystery woman, and Jim does everything in his power to keep them from meeting again.
Much dancing and hilarity ensue.  (I'm probably taking a ballroom class this spring.  Can I please come out of the class dancing like this?)

So, I'm sure I'll see this again some other Christmas season.  There are so many parts I like.  If Lincoln's birthday had not existed, I would be giving the movie four stars.  How much can I forgive old movies?  Jury is out.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Here is a movie so unbelievably wonderfully bad that I have had to re-watch large portions of it two times in under a month to share it with my dad and my boyfriend.  All lovers of bad science fiction MUST see this movie.  I've just learned that this was in fact used in an episode of Mystery Science Theater! Perfect.

Oh, where to begin?

The children of Mars have no real childhood.  From the time they are born, information is piped into their little heads, so that they are really like mini-adults, seemingly with no emotion (although that could have been due to the quality of acting).  When we first meet the Martians, we learn that the children, in need of childhood as they are, have become addicted to Earth tv, especially to broadcasts about Santa Claus.  Concerned Martian leader, Kimar, calls together the Martian council and goes off to talk to the wise and creaky elder Chochem.  Once Chochem explains the detrimental effect of not having a true childhood, the council decides that the thing to do is... go to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus!

I should take this moment to mention that the photo above is indeed of Martian children.  Green face paint and antenna on your helmet designate you a martian in this movie.

When the Martians land on Earth they meet and capture young Betty and Billy Foster, who tell them that Santa lives at the North Pole.  The children try to escape to warn Santa, and much drama ensues, involving terrible acting by the Foster children, silly antics of the Martian Dropo (their resident idiot?), a narrow escape from a man wearing a really bad polar bear costume (meant to be a polar bear), and a final capture by the cardboard robot pictured below.

Santa is captured and brought to Mars, along with Betty and Billy, where he immediately inspires the Martian children and begins to manufacture toys in a factory made for him by the Martians.  Santa chuckles a lot.  Dropo continues to be silly.
Conflict boils over, however, when the evil Voldar, who has been grumpy about the plan to bring Santa to Mars all along (grumpy to the point of having made an attempt on the lives of poor Santa, Betty, and Billy!) sabotages the toy factory and tries to kidnap Santa.  See how angry he is below?

I will go ahead and ruin the ending for you.  All works out well, the Earthlings get to go home, and Dropo becomes the Martian Santa Claus.

One star for my favorite scene involving Santa Claus's brilliant escape from an airlock on-board the martian ship.  It is worth seeing the movie just for this scene.  I am sure that I will someday see this movie again in its entirety, and there are so many people in my life who may soon need to be subjected to at least a few scenes.  So convenient that it is an "instant" movie on Netflix!

The Bishop's Wife (1947)

Cary Grant can skate! (says Jessica)

Cary Grant can skate, but when he does, he shrinks by three feet. (says David)

But still, Cary Grant is perfect.  And he is a real angel.

This is possibly the definition of a feel good movie.  A bishop is busy trying to get the money to build a new cathedral and is ignoring his wife and daughter.  In swoops an angel to subtly help him see what is really important in his life.  Yes there is some drama, and there is some conflict.  There is even some relationship sketchiness, but there is never any doubt in your mind that all that happens is for the good of the characters and will lead to immense happiness.  Three stars, and I will see this again some other Christmas.

Love Crazy (1941)

William Powell and Myrna Loy.  What do you think I will rate this movie?

Susan and Steve Ireland are celebrating their fourth anniversary in a wonderfully witty Loy and Powell way.  Instead of exactly re-enacting their first date the way that they usually do on their anniversary, Steve suggests that they re-enact the date backwards.  Unfortunately, they are interrupted almost immediately by the arrival of Susan's mother, and hilarity ensues.  


Steve gets stuck in an elevator with an old flame who lives a floor down, Susan's mother trips on the ugly anniversary present she has bought them, Susan has to run her mother's urgent pick-up errand, and a cooped up Steve ditches his mother-in-law to catch up with the old flame. All of this leads to divorce proceedings and Steve's increasingly drastic attempts to keep Susan from divorcing him over a misunderstanding. Oh William Powell, are you ever bad in a comedy?
Four stars.  I would watch this again.  I'm looking into non-Thin Man Loy&Powell box sets...

Them (1954)

EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!
I would like to point out that despite what is shown on the poster/DVD cover, at no point do the ants overrun a city or chase mobs of people...anywhere. They seem to prefer to hang out in the desert and pick off loners. Although if those queen ants had gotten out of the L.A. sewer system...

The ants (atomic testing of course) need to be stopped, and a somewhat cocky F.B.I. agent, along with a father and daughter entomology team, are the main players in trying to stop them.  Unfortunately the female entomologist seems to think that heels are appropriate attire for tracking giant ants through the desert, meaning that she has a hard time getting out of situations like the one with the pipe-cleaner antennaed ant below.

But oh, how I love this movie. I do not know how many times I have seen it, but the viewings started by age 5. I used to play "Them" in my neighborhood. Who knows what lived beneath the streets of Lexington, MA.  The most recent viewing came after a group trip to see the "Big Bugs" sculpture exhibit at Garden in the Woods. I know I don't look afraid, but really, it was a beautiful ant.  And I knew I had worn the right shoes.

Wings in the Dark (1935)

Favorite actor... favorite actress... yet another movie I had a hard time paying attention to without rolling my eyes.

Myrna Loy plays a stunt pilot.  Cary Grant plays a daring pilot who wants to be one of the first pilots to fly blind (the first?  I can't remember!)  Of course Loy has long admired Grant before she even gets to meet him.  And of course Grant is blinded by a freak accident with a stove.    What will become of Grant's budding relationship with Loy?  What will become of his ambitious plan to... fly blind?

Devastated Grant secludes himself in a cabin in the woods until Loy and a helper sneak up on him and make him accept a seeing eye dog into his life.  Before the dog he has to wander around with his arms outstretched.  More touching scenes and tragedy ensue.
One star for the seeing eye dog.